Taped

2:57 A.M.

Listening to the interview I conducted with the W family in Bilibid is painful.

The more I review it, the more it's apparent to me how much of a greenhorn I still am, how much I still have to learn about discussing sensitive issues, about asking the right questions to get my interviewees to open up, relax and learn to see me as a friend, not an evil, out-to-get-you-off-guard reporter. I sounded like an idiot there sometimes - to his brother J., I'd asked, So, are you a modern kind of man? Good God! More examples of stupidity abound on that tape.

But they were perfectly honest with me, very candid, but naturally they were still very guarded, given all the past media hullaballoo that somehow contributed to H.'s current situation.

More later. Back to the tape.

3:11 A.M.

Oh, it's horrid. It's just plain horrid. I ask, ladies and gentlemen, I ask H when he tells me he watches TV to pass the time, does your TV has cable? Shit. Shit. Shit!

3:26 A.M.

Hey, it' s getting better now. After blurting out, God I'm so nervous!, H. graciously asks me why, and I explain, oh my I'm used to interviewing pregnant women and mothers! This is a first for me!, you could feel the tension in the air dissipate, like mist after it's been hit by sunlight. P's eyebrow comes down a notch, and H. stops being sarcastic. I begin to get my bearings. I hope I don't do another Stooge somewhere down the line.