A Letter

*photo from www.ginnyowens.com

Dear God,

You told me last night that you were going to give me what I need.

What do I need? I feel loved enough - enough to know that when I leave this world, I will be missed. I look at my family, and though we are imperfect, as all families are, I feel blessed to have been born into this one. My friends have been wonderful to me in every way, and I can only hope to love them as much as they love me. I have one talent, and one talent only, but it's a talent You've made sure I have in abundance. I am beautiful, yes, I'll say it here without blushing, because it's true. What of the bulges on my body? That doesn't diminish how gorgeous I am in Your eyes. What do I need? Tell me what to need, Lord, and that's what it'll be.

Yes, I've made mistakes - before I turned to you, I had been living in shadowy crawl-spaces where I couldn't see my hand before my face. I was cruel and unkind, a tight, throbbing ball of envy and shame. It was difficult to get through the day, feeling that way, like an escaped convict, constantly hiding because I didn't know how to be, or where to go.

But You've always been there. You always will be.

So this is redemption. The unfettering of ribbons, a kind of inner illumination, release from self-imposed pain. Keep walking, You say, keep moving, stand still only long enough to reflect on what you're going to do and what you've done. Wish the world love. Listen to Me.

Starting over never felt so good. If there is one thing I could ask of you, it's to give me a greater capacity for obedience. Sometimes I don't hear what You're saying, most of the time I choose not to follow what I hear because it's too difficult, or too obscure. Give me the courage to do Your will.

Thank you for letting me live this life, Lord. I could not have asked for more.

Your errant child,
Ginny