Riding the Rocket (Revised)

It was half past 11 p.m. when I found myself going down the Greenbelt bridgeway alone.

As I walked towards my parked car, the cold night wind lifted my skirt up above my knees. The path was completely empty, devoid of the usual tourists, yuppies and hoochie girls, so I didn't mind. Below me, Manila's glitterati were still partying at Café Havana, Masana and Buddha Bar. Though it was nearly early morning on a weekday, they were still hungry for mindless social interaction and vodka tonics. Can money buy you a genuine sense of responsibility? Apparently not.

More than anything, it was a night of blurred images, brief sensations - a flea floating in my bowl of overpriced sinigang, a broken bag strap, my right earlobe gone gangrenous from using four-pound hoops and chandelier earrings, a chance encounter with a gym-mate in a public restroom, which somehow led to both of us attending her church's pastoral service in GB Onstage Theater, making me miss K's launch in Absinth, and so forth. I also wound up having dinner with some very beautiful people. Though I can barely remember what we talked about, I can still taste the food two days later: grilled catfish, tokwa't bangus, corned beef sinigang and fruits. Iza Calzado, who is even more gorgeous in person, is so nice and so down-to-earth, sat beside me and gave me dieting advice. They took a picture of us, with me smiling awkwardly beside her. I could have easily been cut out of the frame, using Photoshop, or even just a pair of scissors. It's not to say they didn't include me in conversation - in fact, they went out of their way to make me feel included ("ang ganda mo!", said one fashion designer, Iza nodding vigorously in agreement) - it's just that we inhabit different worlds.

It's funny how people seem to think they're different from everyone else, when we're really all the same. We have the same concerns (food, money, love), the same anatomy, the same dreams. We're never really alone. Even on this bridge, the wind wrapping around my calves, to give imaginary flight to some place other than Here.