My 3.35 Minutes of Fame

So, I was on TV last night.

Nothing much to report: just that the camera really does add ten pounds, and for the 3 minutes and 35 seconds that I was on, I looked like a complete idiot. And how the cameraman panned so closely around the circumference of my love handles! The way he shot them, they looked more like slabs of pork wrapped in black cloth, or three Goody tires stacked together, on top of which sat a very large face. Oh, and that chin! How he focused on that chin - zooming in on it at the most inopportune moments, catching it bounce while I gestured emphatically, carving the light around it so that it became an entity unto itself.