Maybe

# 1

My beautiful gay boy came with me to the Rock Ed Para Sa Leyte Benefit Concert last night. Though the concert played on till sunrise, we had to leave before then (1 am) because we had responsibilities to attend to early this morning.

There was a moment during UpDharmaDown's performance of "Pag-Agos" that I felt True: that piercing voice carried on the wind, combing through my hair, settling on my face, where it could have been anything - a whisper, a kiss, a promise. When I opened my eyes, it was gone. I did not miss it. Such things are meant to be transient, otherwise we would not value them whenever they came.

# 2

And it is the same with certain emotions: we see each other, then we both disappear, separately, into the crowd. On and on, the lights are blinding, my heart is in a vise (think of every cliche), I am thrown, then I am back again. That is how we stand.

# 3

That is also how we fall.

# 4

It is as Jack Kerouac famously says -

...The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like famous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight and everybody goes "Awwww!"

# 5

Last night was Awwwwwww!

And I felt the blue centerlight pop within me, but only I could see.